Voila!

Yeah, I remember that night... The only time I went out in Estonia during my 5 weeks at home about 3 months ago. I miss my friends... got a letter from Andre (Brasil, RJ) today. Obrigada, querido... People here are crazy. Life is a soap opera here. Oh, I'm tired. There's no summer in this country, right now I am wearing basically all the clothes I have... Missing Brasil and Africa and Estonia and other stuff. Like Asia and Australia, maybe. Otherwise, it's all the same, I guess. No weightloss visible, in spite of starting healthy lifestyle every other day (and failing miserably by every noon). Been in the office for 3 weeks already, this week is probably the last. I'm already getting bad pretending to work all the time. And there are no sites anymore to spam...

What else is new... writing is going... sometimes quite well. I was thinking of quite good things yesterday night but it was all gone in the morning. I feel like getting older during last few weeks. Dunno, how, but... It's like some borders (like moral and principal) are vanishing. Seems like the older you get, the more nasty, unfair and unfaithful life gets. And it's all normal. It's just that I was too blue-eyed and whatever to notice it. A lot of stuff comes down to sex after all. Might start believing this Freud crap after all...

Saw an amazing documentary last night, "Stealing one nation". Oh, I felt angry watching it. But even more motivation, especially having a few returned DI's back from Africa here again. And tons of pictures... can't wait to get there after all this...

peace of mind

Nope, I'm not gonna talk about bombs in London. It's not because I'm 4-5 hours away, but it's just because I'm not. Read BBC news if needed. I mean, it was going to happen anyway, nobody takes this kind of f***ing like US and its little fellows are doing in the rest of the world right now, forever. Little men of Allah have had enough for a long time. And that's just the way they're saying they're unhappy. At the same time in Edinburgh 20 000 policemen are guarding 8 of the world's biggest terrorists... I hate it that being here in England I've already missed so many big things like Live 8 concert in London and the demonstrations in Edinburgh etc. Damn it. (It hasn't been my choice - I just need to work!)

In general, I've been a lot better last week. The big stress is over and sometimes even the sun is shining (I said sometimes). I saw incredible movie last night, called The Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.com) and it really gave me a lot of motivation again to go to Africa and to do smth good... like I had already forgotten why I'm here anyway and WHY I want to go there... It feels good.

up up and away

hey again

My mood is goin up up and then down again. The F***ing Fantastic and Fabulous Three is dead, there is no close friend like Danguole anymore. She... I don't know what happened. She got her long-desired Swede Andreas and everybody else just seemed to lose importance in her eyes. Well, anybody can fall in love, but it doesn't mean you have to act like a bitch to people who you sent away crying just 2 weeks earlier. Now Andreas has left and Dangole went to Newcastle. So, I can enjoy the company of in 2007-to be married couple Ray and Paul, about 8 new Estonians and dozens and dozens of other new guys. Plus the good old gang, of course. Fero, an older brother, Raul, cute little Mexican and manymany others. But some people have also left, like Joszef (Good morning darling!!!), nice quiet Polish hippie guy Macek and funny quiet Karol from... Poland as well, I believe. All nice people.

Last week I was co-driving Slovenian guy Bostjan while collecting clothes. He's really fun to be around normally, but he's a nervous driver. We had some loud arguments. :) But we kind of learned each other's ways of working so it turned out quite ok I guess. For example on Saturday we were sitting in a pub somewhere near to Doncaster and watching Live 8 from telly. And swearing that damn, we should have gone there ourselves... that what the hell are we doing here, collecting these stupid clothes... and we almost took off with the van to London. Well, not quite but we would have loved to do that. And some lads gave us their untouched chips!! For free:)

Coldplay rules. And U2 too, of course. It's a beautiful day... well, not all the days are so beautiful here but it's ok. For example this weekend I've been kind of happy because of mysterious picture Fero finally gave me and another nice picture that Liam gave me (and that he painted himself!!!). Liam is 41, Scottish (well, actually he's Billy and English but he doesn't like it when I tell him the truth and that's why he's saying I'm Russian... he bloody bastard) and he likes to think he's 25 and not old, but experienced. haha.... anyway. next two weeks i'll be in promotion, so hopefully I'll have time to put up more pictures and write some creative stuff... maybe..