my little nothingness

Been here 6 months. More 4 and I'll be in Mozambique. Less than 2 more and I can visit my dear Estonia, family, friends, their newborn children (I'm gettin oooooold!!!!!!!!) etc. Hopefully there will be lots of beautiful snow and goooood food. Mmmm, kama....

I just came from London yesterday. I guess I haven't updated for a while, anyway, I'm a DI (Development Instructor) now and this means 2 weeks studies (well, basically sitting in the computer, doing some presentations and stuff like that) and two wicked weeks out on the streets selling AFRICA needs your support magazines (fundraising). I'm half way to my goal right now....

But as that is not what I wanted to write about today... Headlights of my recent life:

I joined Orkut.

I am lazier and bigger than ever before (a life in a well-off western country to blame???? I'm sorry I haven't sent any e-mails for months. I was planning to make a list of people I should contact - or else everyone will forget about my little existence - but I never managed to really do it).

I discovered the site www.tv.ee and been watching Estonian shows for weeks now. Especially "Malaisa" (a "romantic reality show") and "Ärapanija" (have to be Estonian to get that one). It's tooo bad they do not show ETV (the national channel) as it has the best shows ("Pealtnägija" and "OP" to name a few...). Somebody said "Kahvel" is coming back. Is that true??

Well, I might sound like a TV-addicted nerd right now. That's not true! I have a social life! I... erm... I play music on several nights with other people. Sometimes I talk to them, too. I practice my broken Estonian with new (ok, not that new anymore) Estonian girls (one of them turned out to be my relative) and I almost went out several times in London.... I know, it's pathetic.

I am having a thought about a script in my head. I cannot say what it's about because someone might steal my idea. But now I have to get to know some really good movie people and make it come true. The set is in Brazil and it would be a movie I'd really like to watch (I love how it looks in my head! Imagine on the big screen!).

Otherwise, there are some bits and pieces of things. A line from a play to be. The title for a novel. An idea for new philosophy. And in some sad and unknown reason, they just stay like this. Bits and pieces.

It's good to be loved. But if you only love me when you're feeling that you're losing me, don't.

Don't kiss me on the tube. People around you can see you cannot tell my lips from my fingers.