What the hell am I doing here?

This kind of thought has slipped through my mind already several times. Development work? You must be kidding. Teaching English, occasionally? Getting closer. Having a paid holiday (with restrictions) in Africa for 8 months? Bingo!
Well, I’m not saying that I dreamt of changing the world or something like that – oh no, these dreams are long lost and fairly forgotten. Anyway, without getting too filosophical, I mean the world in largest sence, ending poverty and hunger etc. So, I didn’t come here with these thoughts. 10 months in English-Danish mental institution had minimalized my creativity and motivation, which means that I only arrived with little left of my former volunteer-being. First days were rather promising, we had lots of introductory meetings and trips to surrounding communities, but soon the sad truth was facing me and Barbara, DI’s (development instructors) for EPF (Escola de Professores do Futuro – Teacher Training College) – we are not that needed at all…
Well, by now we have eliminated the number of days when we have absolutely not at all ANYthing to do but sleeping, eating, watching movies (yes, we do have a TV and also VHS and even DVD-player!!!) and whining. The trick is easy – we just go to Beira (about 90 km from here), use internet, go to the beach and have a nice lunch in some restaurant. Plus shopping in South-African-products-only-shopping centre ShopRite for chocolate and other basic needs. Travelling there and back takes long so going to Beira is a whole day thing, which is good as we feel tired in the evening for doing something. We often feel exhausted because we do nothing, which is a lot worse feeling, believe me. So, Beira once or twice a week. Oh, by the way, we also started this partnership thing, emailing companies for donations of any kind for teaching materials, and also computers, so if you know anyone who could help and is willing to ship it over to Mozambique, let me know.
On two mornings we teach English for 45 minutes. I have about 40 students on first level (very basic English) and Barbara has I think 10 students on advanced level. I enjoy it quite a lot, even though it’s hard to explain a language one is not sure about herself and the other thing… they just don’t get it! I mean, I’ve been on the same topic for weeks now, and it’s still like Chinese for them. Last week I tried to make a test, and it was a disaster. They kept talking, ignoring my orders and looking for answers in their note books. Oh, and most of them didn’t even arrive before 20 minutes late. I was angry, sad, disappointed and whatever else was there. Gosh, if that’s how real teachers feel all the time… I’m really sorry for acting like my students did for most of my school years. So, we rehearse one more week and then on Friday try again. I’m gonna make them enter the class room with just a pen in their hand. We’ll see who can cheat now…
And then we go to this orphanage in Nhamatanda (about 15 km away) to do art/English classes there. It’s one of the most enjoyable and rewarding things we do, something we really like and what makes us feel useful and expected. Seriously. These children are so amazing, they can sing and dance like young Gods, they’re so smart and sporty and flexible, what tricks they do in their back yard on a muddy field… amazing.
We gave up the half an hour in Lamego school we had twice a week as it was almost impossible to do anything during this short time with like 100 kids.
And then there are few more things developing like my idea for special theatre day to be carried out in July. I want to make a course on “Theatre as a teaching method”, specializing on HIV issues, introduce some modern theatre elements like improvisation in a work shop and in the evening perform a play. I finally managed to find some people for the play, 1 girl and 5 guys, approximately, and yesterday we met for the first time. They’re damn shy in some issues (like looking really into each other’s eyes) and uncomfortably open in others (like kind of dirty jokes and stuff). But we’ll get there, I know. We have to.
And of course, there is the clinic that volunteers are responsible for. It’s basically book-keeping for receits to go to doctor, also handling out pain killers or cold medicine and things like that. But sometimes they come with serious things as well, like wounds and stuff and I really don’t like the idea of someone as inexperienced in this field as me taking care of it.
So, we have found some things to do, which is really good as we were kind of desperate and depressed about constant nothingness. Now, things are much better... or maybe we just like it the way it is now, maybe we just have decided that it’s ok to have it easy. Don’t know. At least I’ve spoken some Portuguese now. I used to feel like I only speak English here, and almost no Portuguese. Fortunately, I’ve had some longer conversations with some students and other people now so it’s improving, hopefully. I’ve given up my beautiful Porto Alegre accent, though as people here couldn’t really understand…
Last weekend we had a trip to Gorongosa where we climbed the Gorongosa mountain (should be about 2500 metres high). We meaning me, 3 more volunteer guys and a local guide. I kind of sucked, partly because I brought way too heavy packback and partly because I haven’t been so sporty, ever. But eventually, I did it. I try to send you some pictures, hope you’ll have a chance to take a look.

Lamego, April 28, 2006